Brew is Not Sustenence

Gotta Fly

admin — Tue, 06 Nov 2007 23:26:00 +0000

My best friend is pregnant and her doctor put her on full bed rest today. She has an 18 mo. old daughter who needs more attention than a resting Mommy can give, so Auntie Sara is on her way. I won’t have a chance to post but I’ll be checking in on your sites. Please do [...]

What I'm Doing …

admin — Tue, 06 Nov 2007 16:29:00 +0000

Busy shoveling shit … hope to have a TTT post by this afternoon … place no bets on that.

Totally Tits Friday! – Size Matters Edition

admin — Fri, 02 Nov 2007 07:01:00 +0000

TTF returns this week with a vengeance. Since the festivities were postponed last week, I thought we’d do something BIG. I went in search of the the world’s largest breasts, and friends, I found some biguns!

Norma Stitz claims to have the largest breasts on the planet. Norma lists her breast size at 72 1/2 inches (no cup size listed, I doubt there are enough letters to accurately measure Norma’s girls). I think you will agree, these are some mighty meaty mammaries:

Chelsea Charms also claims to have the world’s largest boobs. (Chelsea wanted me to pay to get her measurements so you’ll have to guess or drop your dime.)

According to the fine folks at Guinness (the records people, not the beer) one Miss Lolo Ferrari held the record, 71 inches, until her untimely death in 2000.

Guinness’ current record holder is Maxi Mounds. Maxi’s cup size is an astounding 156MMM!

I don’t know about the rest of you but I think Norma has been robbed. And may I also just say, “OUCH”.

WOWW! – Halloween Edition

admin — Wed, 31 Oct 2007 07:01:00 +0000

Because this week’s edition of Whip Out the Wangs Wednesday falls on Halloween, we’ll be enjoying some *Hallowangs*:

That’s the spirit!

Talk about carving one out.

And just in case you need a late dose of Totally Twat Tuesday:

Happy Hallowang everyone!

Halloween Costumes

admin — Tue, 30 Oct 2007 10:38:00 +0000

Still searching for that perfect dog costume??

The Dog Whisperer!

(Thanks to Stacie Tamaki of San Jose, Calif. for the pic)
~

Anger Management

admin — Fri, 26 Oct 2007 14:18:00 +0000

Sometimes when you are angry with someone, it helps to sit down and think about the problem. I wish I could confront my content thief and utilize this strategy.

**UPDATE**
Mike sent some great advise that I think you all should read, apparently it isn’t whether or not your content will be stolen, it’s a question of when it will be stolen. For help on how to protect yourself see HERE. Thanks Mike!I’m going to take off for the weekend, I’ll let you know what happens with all this on Tuesday.

Totally Tits Friday – Postponed

admin — Fri, 26 Oct 2007 11:20:00 +0000

This edition of TTF has been postponed. Check back next week.

WOWW! Size Matters Edition

admin — Thu, 25 Oct 2007 01:53:00 +0000

Today’s edition of Whip Out the Wangs Wednesday focuses on size. After extended research on the matter, Beer is NOT Food has come to the conclusion that men are more concerned with size of the wang than (most) women.

If a woman is cruising the singles’ sites, looking for a well endowed wang, she expects to see a valid tool (all puns intended) used to indicate size of wang.

Something in this vein:

However, I think some of you fellas have got your measuring devises all wrong. Here’s a prime example:

I wouldn’t give you two bucks for this one, that’s including the tip.

Another poor instrument choice:

Is that a standard spoon? An iced tea spoon? Hard to tell and I can’t dig it.

This one just made me snicker:

This next one makes no sense at all:

I keep a similar brush in my purse, it’s roughly three inches long. I’m simply not swept off my feet by the comparison.

Due to time constraints this will be the last example:

How am I supposed to gauge wang size with this?? Time to move on.

Fellas, if you’ve got a personal ad out there, think with the big head when selecting the apparatus you’ll be using to lure us in with size.

**Special thanks to “Desperately Seeking Something” for letting me *borrow* your shtick**~

Totally Twat Tuesday

admin — Tue, 23 Oct 2007 07:01:00 +0000

Paradox had a suggestion that I thought might just become a regular thing here at Beer is NOT Food – “Totally Twat Tuesday”. Much like “Whip Out the Wangs Wednesday”, and “Totally Tits Friday”, this would be a celebration of the human form. A gander at the female genitalia on Tuesdays seems like a good way to break up the week, yes?

Now since this will be the first (and possibly last) TTT, I thought we’d start off with a very special twat, a twat most of us have never seen.

Ladies & Gents, our First twat:

I wish I had the ability to cue up “Hail to the Queef“

Thanks for the idea, Paradox! As always, reader submissions are welcome and encouraged!

The IRS Pencil Sharpener

admin — Mon, 22 Oct 2007 21:47:00 +0000